My Moi-même-Moitié Collection

From top right to bottom left: Dot lace OP, Scallop lace op

                                                Flocky ornament OP, Holy queen skirt, Church Gate JSK. (bad picture, i know.lol)

       This picture isn't showing all my moitie yet, I'm still waiting on my Crossroads JSK:)

       I'm sure many people fail to understand why Moi-meme-Moitie means so much to me,  and I always wanted to tell my story. So here we go.

      The first time I saw Mana (Malice Mizer) was in 8th grade, I fell in love with Malice Mizer, and I started reading a lot more into the band and its members. Knowing that the brand had already disbanded, I was very sad, and I wish I had gotten to know them sooner. I loved the aesthetic and the music so much, and sometimes I feel like I'm becoming one with the world Malice Mizer shown in their videos. I am a day dreamer as well. I read more into Mana, because I thought he was very intriguing to me, I liked his style,  and knowing that he was the one who started Malice Mizer fascinated me. As I get to know this Mana person more, I felt I was very connected to him, because he and I are so much alike--the things he likes, the way how he views life, and even the fact that he is a very shy person. I adored him so much,  and I looked up to him as if he was my Goddess; I still do, I still look up to him as my Goddess. I have been thinking how much I wanted to be just like my Goddess, I wish I had his beauty, I wish I had his talent and success. Especially recently, I have been trying to do my make up just like him, so I could be at least a little bit close to him. Then again, skin beauty means almost nothing to me, because I know my beauty will decay as the time goes on, and it will eventually parish into nothingness. I also have been working hard to make my CG images, hoping that maybe I will succeed someday. I know I can never be JUST LIKE Mana, but as long as I try and have my success, then I will feel closer to him. Everyday, we live to improve ourselves, that is the most important. Isn't that right, Mana? I still remember how you encouraged me with your words.

          When I was 15, I started playing bass because of Malice Mizer, and I also had a silly wish at that time. I was wishing that if I could play bass really well, maybe one day, I will be able to go to Japan, and maybe Mana will pick me as the bassist in his band. Silly dream, I know right? I did work really hard on bass playing, I had been in a few bands before too, but they never worked out as I imagined so. The last band I joined was called "The Hey Yoos", we were an all girls band, and it was my college freshman year. I tried very hard to promote my band as well, hoping maybe one day we can get popular and we can be on the same stage as Moi Dix Mois, maybe Mana would know who I am.. I know, silly dream again, and the band did not work out as I thought it would.. After that, I quit bass playing after 5 years of hard working. I'm not even sure if I would pick it up again, I guess I'm even more awkward than Mana, since I'm awkward to even talk to my band members and be myself in front of them.(Laugh) I guess I will just have to work hard all by myself to find an way out. I don't want to give up, then again, I'm scared too. I'm so scared of changes and the insecurity of my future. I wish Mana can just appear in front of me one day and tell me that I will be just like him.

         Ok, after all that talk about myself and my Mana "obsession", on to Moi-meme-Moitie!(laugh) The first time I knew Moitie was at the same time I researched Mana, then I realized that he had his own clothing brand. Mana designs the clothings from Moitie to represent and express himself to the public. I thought it was a really good concept. I liked Mana's concept of how he has two souls inside of him, a woman and a man, and they share the same body, and that is why he sometimes appears to be feminine and sometimes he appears to be more masculine. The name Moi-meme-moitie means half of myself--my other self, and I absolutely adore this idea. I have read quite a lot about anima and animus, and I am very fascinated with this concept. At that time I knew about Moitie, I was only about 15, I could have never even dreamed of owing anything from Moitie, how would I even dare to. A 15 years old little girl can never afford any thing from Moitie, and it was just as high and mighty as my Goddesss Mana. It had been my biggest wish to collect things from Moitie, or at least to own one thing from my beloved Moitie.  Then, I guess it was not just a mere wish that never comes true in the end. I finally had the chance to afford my first Moitie -- Holy Queen skirt, that was the first Moitie print I absolutely fell in love with. When I got this skirt from the mail, I was completely stunned, and I was filled with joy. Ok, this sounds lame, but yes, I did cry, but the tears were from joy, the joy of used-to-be this little girl's unreachable dream coming true. At that time, I kept looking at my very first Moitie item for a long time, and I could scarcely believe this to be the reality. Because my reality has always been filled with disappointment, one after another, they keep coming, never end... But my beloved Moitie has made me the happiest I could ever been.  I know this sounds silly, but truly, Moi-meme-Moitie isn't just mere materialisticism to me, it means so much to me, and i will always have a part of my heart for it, and nothing will ever be the replacement. 

         Since then, I have been getting more things from Moitie, and I love every single one of them from the bottom of my heart. On my birthday of this year, my Mother surprised me with a Moitie (Flocky Ornament)! Thank you so much, Mom. You really know me well, and you also know that I always get depressed around April, because it happens every year, just like a curse that I can never escape. This year, things has been getting better. well, not exactly, if it wasn't for Moitie, I would be sink deep down in the water again, like Ophelia. I know there will always be disappointments in life, and I cannot forgive myself for the sins I have commited. Even if the whole world takes me as an unnecessary and insignificant being, even if I have been forsakened by this world. I will always have Moitie to get me through the toughest time of life, now and in the future.